Love

Wow, its been a while.

How do I even start? My life is so full I can't even begin to describe the beauty, change, and passion. I catch myself thinking, 'I love my life.' I am perfectly content and happy. I have no regrets or wishes. Only dreams of a future as bright as it is right now.

I can't ever say that I had a hard time in life this far. I have been blessed. I don't understand how I got so lucky now, but I accept! ;) I love my Jordon; I believe he was made for me. Getting married a little later in life helps me realize how completely perfect he is for me. I understand myself more than ever and it's easy for me to see how we compliment each other. We have a blast!! All the cute little sayings about marrying your best friend are true. It's worth waiting for it to be right. I can see how if you don't get along with your spouse that would cause huge problems and it could make life a drag and unbearable. But its not. Its fun :) And I adore my husband!





Someday

Remember when we used to believe?
We will be childishly hopeful and blind...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL01PTawNwM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Recording

Wow that was the longest day ever in the recording studio! We pounded out 11 songs in 10 hours. Not bad. I sang lead on about 9 of them so I'm a little hoarse. The last high song I was cracking so bad we had to do lots of retakes. It is amazing tho how you can redo just a word or two if you get it mostly right. I sang a base track for the guitars and accidentally skipped a verse and didn't realize till we put instruments away and were jus doing the vocals. Oops. Good thing for copy pasting the instrument track. I almost got fired there :p
I'm glad we're done. We whizz through things kinda fast I'm afraid. It's just our style.

Night

Evening is always so beautiful to me. I love watching the moon and stars come out. My dream someday is to watch the bewitching light show known as the northern lights.
Why is it then that nights are so hard to go through? It's like all the problems of the day seem larger and the deep longings of your heart come out. Dreams are supposed to be your innermost thoughts and your brain trying to make sense of all the disconnected things we do everyday. But it all seems so real in the dark. Fears haunt, dreams lerk, reality laughs.

Love my job

I always felt like a part time cowgirl. Like that's possible. It makes as much sense as a part time human or part time female or part time christian. Ok the last one is understandable. But being able to train in the winter makes me feel legit. I actually do know what I'm doing, so much so I do it year round.

I always dreamed of being a great horse trainer. Not having lots of fame or becoming a household name but just being able to make a living playing with horses all day. I have an amazing breeder I'm working for who is the best client. He figured out my methods by just watching me ride. He appreciates all the time I spend on his horses. He will ride them the way I do once they get home which is so valuable to the horses education and will make them worth more. He's got a little start on the colts once I get them but they're not spoiled brats.

Walk out to this in the morning and just try to not love life.

Mr. Sourdough

He's alive. He is living in my room. I feed him everyday.

Yep I am coexisting with Mr. Sourdough and I would have uploaded a picture if I was on my computer.... He's fat, has a bubbly personality and consists partly of alcohol (fermented yeast). He is single and totally the bread winner type so ladies, he's a keeper. I'll introduce you two if you want.

My first attempt at producing a sourdough baby went pretty good. It takes soo long for them to come to term and I was impatient so the result wasn't quite the same. I want to try again tomorrow and do an overnight cool rise... That's supposed to improve the flavor. I also want to make some cinnamon rolls so Mr. Sourdough will be a busy boy.

I've read that if you treat your Mr. Sourdough starter right and feed him correctly he can last for years and century's and maybe even decades! What a crazy thought. Someday I'll pass on Mr. Sourdough to my great-grandchildren and tell them how to care for him, my kitchen companion. They will have great respect for Mr. Sourdough because he kept bread on the table for so many years.

... That is if I don't kill him accidentally like I did to his brother. Oops.

Glass reflections

"To desire something and not have it - is this not the source of nearly all our pain and sorrow?"

It's about time I write about why I named my blog glass reflections. I know right, I've had it how long? But I never felt like I could fully explain or communicate what the name means. It's a slight reference to 1 Cor. 13:12 "For now we see through a glass darkly but then face to face. Now I know in part but then shall I know even as also I am known."
I believe this is talking about the completion of the word of God as Paul worked to finish writing the books in the Bible. But it holds a fascination for me. A word picture of looking into a dim glass and faintly making out your image. Maybe the glass is streched so you look skinny or fat and the imperfections of the glass marr your face with ugly marks.

I think we look at our lives through that glass. It's never good enough. It keeps us battered and defeated. Why try when the image never changes? The dark smokey glass has ruined our opinions of our self-worth. The desires we have for something more dies inside when we look through the glass. The reflection is detestable, who would want to love that?

I think there's more. I think we're just looking at things from the wrong perspective. We wake up every morning and head to that dark, dirty, dim glass and peer in, noting that nothing has changed. We pick at everything we dont like and then to feel better or hold a pity party, we compare it to someone elses glass! It makes even the good things of life dreaded. It kills desire. We don't like to desire for the fear of falling again.
"Hope rouses the desire from it's slumber and makes us even more vulnerable to disappointment."
"This is the point at which God most feels like our enemy. It seems at times that he will go to any length to thwart the very thing we most deeply want.
You see, the real dilemma of desire is that it humbles us. It takes us way beyond our own resources where we need to ask for help."

We're looking at this earthly life as the end all to our satisfaction and joy and happiness. Our search for the perfect life and the situation we've always imagined is not in vain. We just have the timing wrong. Take away that faded old glass. That's the worlds way of seeing you. There's a new glass waiting. Right now we know in part but then we shall know. Life will never be perfect here on this earth, but there's is a day that's coming... That's a hope that will never disappoint. How we handle the difficult situations now are just a test of our faithfulness to our God. He will not fail to reward the trials you endured.

Right now all we can see are the glass reflections... Mine isn't looking so bad after all... It's a matter of a heavenly perspective.